The Burning Pen

"What Was I Thinking" Series
"#4 ~ The 'Up Against the Wall' Wars"
by Ruth Solomon

The story content is adult in nature and can contain graphic sex and violence.  Those under the age of 18 are asked to leave this site immediately.  You are not welcome here.  The author is not responsible for those under-aged who view these works.

CHAPTER 3

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to JKR. All situations are mine. No $$$ is being made from this fanfic.
*******************************

Chapter 3 ~ The Small Details

Hermione turned down the dark dungeons hallway and walked quickly to her office. She was just about to draw her wand when a hand clamped down on her shoulder.

“Hermio....oof!” a male voice said, cut off mid-name.

Before the witch knew it, she had clasped her hand over her fist for added power and threw her sharp elbow back and up into, well, into someone. And he had dropped...fast. She spun and pointed her wand between the fallen individual’s eyes before you could say “Severus Bloody Snape.”

It wasn’t Severus though.

“Ron! Oh, Ron!” Hermione said, putting her wand away and bending down to help the startled and injured Weasley to his feet. “Ron, I’m so sorry!”

Ronald Weasley rose unsteadily to his feet, both arms wrapped around his solar plexus. He was a bit green around the gills, and painfully trying to recapture the wind that was knocked out of him. Bent over, he looked up at Hermione, his eyes glazed with tears of pain.

“Damn, Hermione...” he gasped, “I realize I haven’t stopped by to see you for a while, but I didn’t expect you to take it like this!

“Oh, Ron, I’m so sorry. I’ve just been a bit uptight about my training, and Severus said he was going to be attacking me and ...”

Ron now stood with one hand on the wall for support, and the other arm still wrapped protectively around his midsection. He was still breathing a bit heavily.

“What? Attacking you?” Ron said between gasps, “what kind of kinky things are you two into?”

Hermione unwarded the office door, and took Ron by the arm.

“Come on, let’s get you inside, and we’ll talk,” she said, leading him in and closing the door.

Further down the corridor, Severus stood in the shadows, grinning at Hermione’s quick reaction. It was quite a good takedown. The fact that it was Weasley at the end of that pointy little elbow only made it sweeter. He allowed himself a snort of laughter, before returning to his rooms.

***************************

“What are you doing here at Hogwarts, Ron?” Hermione asked, conjuring up a tea for herself, and an ice-cold pumpkin juice for Ron, who was lifting up his shirt and inspecting his aching belly.

“That’s going to leave a bruise,” he muttered, dropping his shirt and giving Hermione a sharp glare. “I came here to talk to Madam Hooch about being a substitute ref for next weekend’s quidditch match between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. She’s got some family business to attend to. Now what’s this, you turning into some kind of gladiator? And Snape attacking you?”

Ron had been sick when he found out Hermione and Snape were an item, just sick. He couldn’t imagine his sweet best friend bedding that greasy, cold-hearted git. He was sure Snape had put some kind of combination lust/blindness spell on her, and only after he and Hermione had one of their usual blazing rows, did he calm down enough to hear her out. And it still made his stomach turn. But, as Hermione said, it was her choice to make and he either had to respect that, or leave her alone entirely. He didn’t want to do that, so they kept an uneasy peace concerning Severus Snape. At least Snape didn’t put his hands all over her, or (ugh!) kiss her in front of him. Actually, you wouldn’t be able to tell they were (ick!) involved if you weren’t already aware of it. Though there was one time he saw Hermione give Snape a look that could have melted the scales off a dragon. It had been, well, unsettling. He didn’t even know Hermione could give a look like that. It was damn sexy. And Snape had just looked back at her, his dark eyes expressionless. Brrr!

Hermione told him all about how Snape was upset about her pitiful fighting abilities, and how he said he was changing his methods of training her, intending to stalk and attack her at random. She even told him about how they weren’t going to have sex during her training...

“Well, that doesn’t sound that bad,” said Ron affably.

Hermione glared at him. Why, oh why did she bother to tell him anything?

“Anyway, when you crept up on me, and put your hand on my shoulder, I just reacted. I guess I thought it might be him, starting the training already,” she said by way of explanation.

Ron considered. “Well, as much as I hate to say this, the git...” Here Hermione scowled at him.

“I mean Snape does have a point. Plenty of people are being killed by Death Eaters all over. That idiot Fudge is downplaying it as usual, has The Prophet under his thumb, he does. I’m sure that you being with Snape has them chomping at the bit to get at you. It would be horrible, ‘Mione. He’s right...you have to train up good.”

Hermione sighed. “Well, I have to. I had a talk with Dumbledore about it, and he agrees with Severus...”

She didn’t tell Ron about the list. He would have gone ballistic if he knew she was a top target.

“If Dumbledore goes along with it, it must be alright then,” Ron said with assurance. Ron loved Dumbledore, even if he thought the wizard a bit insane.

Hermione didn’t reply to Ron’s statement. She sipped her tea thoughtfully.

“Severus didn’t tell me when the training will actually start. I suppose I need to go talk to him some more about it.”

“Sounds like a good idea. You don’t want him leaping all over you before you’re ready,” Ron said, taking a large gulp of pumpkin juice and wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

Hermione frowned at the redhead. “I think that’s the idea, Ron.” She said shortly.

“Yeah,” Ron agreed. “So everything else is all right with you then...”

Hermione and Ron spent about an hour and a half going over current happenings in their lives. Ron was training to be a professional Quidditch referee, and doing quite well...expecting to ref his first professional game in three months. Harry was doing fine, in Auror Training, though he was a bit withdrawn and not seen in public much.

“The newspaper is running him crazy, Hermione. Everything he does is a headline. ‘Harry Potter Goes to the Crapper.” Story page five’ It’s more horrible than when he was ‘The Boy Who Lived.’ Now he’s ‘The Wizard Who Killed Voldemort,’ and he can’t take a piss without it ending up in some tabloid. Good thing he has Ginny to keep him sane.”

Hermione felt a stab of guilt. If Harry hadn’t kept her secret, it would be her being constantly harassed. “Yes, Ginny is good for him. Do you know if they have any plans for the future?”

“No, just dating, but exclusively, so there’s always hope. Harry’s always been like a brother to me, and Mum would love having him in the family proper.”

They talked for a little while longer, then Ron announced he had to go, he had training in the morning. Hermione kissed him on the cheek, and walked him to the door. As she opened it, Ron turned and said, “Don’t worry Hermione. You’ll be a fine warrior.” He grinned.

“Bye, Ron,” she said smiling, pushing him out the door and closing it.

She turned to find an unsmiling Severus, leaning against the Spell lab door. He had a manila envelope under his arm.

“Kissing other men I see, “ he purred.

“Ron doesn’t count,” she countered, walking over to him and kissing his cheek as well.

Severus fought the urge to grab her and claim her mouth, just to reassure her and himself to whom she belonged. But he was here on business.

“Come to my rooms,” he said brusquely, “I have something I want you to see.”

“I thought we were ...restraining ourselves,” she replied, a devilish gleam in her eye.

“Cheeky little wench,” Severus muttered under his breath. He waved the manila envelope. “This is what you need to see,” he said, turning and walking back out the office door. Hermione followed him, curious.

They walked through her lab, his lab and into his office. He opened the bookcase, and stepped back to let Hermione precede him. He closed the door behind him, and warded it.

Hermione walked to the fireplace and took one of the two chairs there. Severus dragged the other closer to Hermione and sat down. He passed her the envelope, and with a wave of his hand, made the fire blaze up to provide adequate light to see.

“I warn you, Hermione, it isn’t pretty.”

Hermione pulled out the first set of two pictures, held together by a paper clip. It was a wizard photo of a pretty woman with black hair, smiling brightly and waving at the camera.

“Who is this?” Hermione asked, studying the woman.

“That was,” Severus said quietly, “Sonata DeFay. She was runner-up in the World Wizarding Defensive Arts Competition two years ago.”

“Was?” Hermione asked.

Severus nodded, and motioned for her to look at the next picture.

Hermione gagged and dropped the following picture to the floor, covering her mouth in horror.

That’s how they found her after Death Eaters got hold of her, hanging from the rafters, gutted like a pig. That’s a coroner’s photo.”

Hermione was gasping, tears falling from her fear-widened eyes. The poor woman.

“And Hermione,” Severus said softly, “she was almost the best there was in Defensive Arts. They ambushed her; she didn’t have time to pull her wand. It was found snapped on the floor beneath her. You see what they did to her, and I am relatively sure she was alive when they cut her open.” He paused, “And there’s more photos. I insist you look at them.”

Severus watched as Hermione went through six more sets of photos of slaughtered witches and wizards, all ambushed, all horribly mutilated. She was sobbing by the time she got through them all.

“I’m sorry,” Severus said as he gathered the photos from Hermione’s limp hands and replaced them in the envelope, “but I had to let you see the consequences of not being prepared to fight for your life. To let you know it’s not just my obsession, why I think it is so very important you bring your skills up to par, and if possible, beyond. They won’t simply kill you. They will make you wish for death long before it comes. You don’t want to experience that.”

He sighed and sat back in the chair. Hermione’s sobs were subsiding.

“I’ve arranged for you to spend the next week at Order Headquarters.” Severus said quietly, looking into the flames of the fire. Hermione looked at him startled.

“Why, Severus?” she asked, feeling numb at what she’d just seen.

“For intensive training with Tonks and Shacklebolt. A refresher of what you’ve been taught, and some new weapons skills. I think we are too close for me to attempt to train you any longer, in addition, since when you return I will actively set about testing you, I think it wise that we spend some time apart and prepare.”

Hermione said nothing. After hearing Dumbledore out, and seeing those horrible photos, she knew that Severus was right. She had to focus, and learn to be lethal without magic if she were to survive an attack.

Severus reached out his pale hand and caressed her cheek gently, turning her face to look at him. His black eyes were intense and full of emotion.

“Hermione, I am going to ask you to do something for me, and for you, that is going to be very difficult,” he said.

“What, Severus?” she whispered, her amber eyes locked with his.

“When you return to Hogwarts after your training, I want you to remember I love you, but not see me as your lover. Keep my love in the back of your mind, removed from what I become. What I will do, is out of love for you, but will not seem so. You may still end up hating me for it. But I am willing to chance that to save you.”

“What...what are you going to do?” she asked, alarmed and frightened at this revelation. She couldn’t imagine him doing anything to make her not love him.

“I can’t tell you,” he said shortly, “but there will be rules.”

Hermione nodded, her heart tight but listening.

“First, do not see me as Severus. I will not be that man. I will be someone, something else behind the familiar face. Something dangerous to you. If I get through your defenses, I will hurt you, to teach you not to allow it again, if possible. If I am successful, and do hurt you, I will give you something temporary for the pain, that will allow you to reach your rooms. But it will wear off quickly, and you will just have to suffer, learn to tolerate it until you learn to stop it. Madam Pomfrey has instructions not to give you anything for pain. It was quite a fight, but she will not do so. Nor will any house-elves. You may get cover-up for bruises if there are any, but no treatment for them. Essentially, Hermione, when you return to Hogwarts...you will be at war. I will have access to every place you frequent, even your rooms. And I will do my best to get at you. You must do your best to thwart me. Keep in mind that I have undergone the Cruciatus Curse more than any wizard living, and have a high tolerance for pain. I don’t think you will be able to injure me beyond repair. Remember, your main purpose is not to totally defeat me, but to escape me, although incapacitating me will give you more time to prepare for my next attack. If you can manage to get away from me five consecutive times, then I will consider you well-suited to protect yourself, and the training will end.”

He paused, and a look of despair passed over his face. “And maybe...maybe we will be able to return to what we are now.”

Hermione rose from her chair and knelt in front of him. “Of course we will, Severus. I love you.”

“You love me now...” he said, his voice dropping almost to a whisper, “we will see how you feel later on.”

A chill of fear filled Hermione’s belly. It felt like a knife, slicing between them. She needed him to hold her, to make love to her. She was suddenly frightened it would never happen again.

“Severus?” she said, looking up at him. He saw what she was feeling, and felt his cock harden.

“No, Hermione,” he said, with more strength and conviction than he was feeling. He wanted to take her, tenderly...to show her that he could be loving and gentle, so she would remember that, especially when he did what he had to in the coming weeks. But that wouldn’t help now. She needed to remove the lover from the man.

He stood up, and offered her his hand. She took it, and he brought her to her feet.

“You have to go, “ he said, a lump forming in his throat.

“I don’t want to,” she replied, attempting to press herself against him.

“Hermione...your training starts tonight. You have other things to focus on.”

He placed his hands firmly on her shoulders and walked her back through the bookcase, the office, the labs and to her own private rooms.

She tried one more time, deciding to appeal to his baser nature.

Severus, I want you to fu...”

“NO!” he roared at her, his anger and despair boiling over, “You wouldn’t want that, wouldn’t ask me that if you had ANY idea what will be waiting for you when you come back here!”

Hermione shrank back from him, terrified that her cool, calm Potions Master had just blown a gasket.

Severus attempted to calm himself

“Now, go to bed and don’t contact me...leave the connection CLOSED! You leave for Headquarters tomorrow morning. A carriage will pick you up at nine. And be prepared when you return, or you WILL regret it,” he said coldly, his eyes as hard as diamonds. Then he turned and walked back into his rooms, the bookcase slamming with loud finality behind him.

Hermione stood there, stunned and hurt. What would be waiting for her? Why was he trying to push her away? She decided then and there that she would train to the best of her abilities, to quickly get through the tortured Severus the Stalker, and return the true man she knew and loved back to her arms as soon as possible.

*****************************

Severus sat in front of the fireplace, and cracked the seal of a brand new bottle of firewhiskey. He looked at his bar and saw that he would need to restock, if he were going to get through the next several weeks. He poured himself an oversized drink, and gulped it down without stopping. He looked at the fire for a few seconds, then poured himself another, well on his way to an all-night binge. She was going to end up hating him, he was sure.

He was going to lose Hermione.


********************************
A/N: ha ha, all you smarties. It wasn’t Severus. *g* I tole ya’ll ta stay outta my haid! Anyway, it’s getting rather intense. I’m loving writing this. Please keep reading and thank you for the reviews. As always they are much appreciated.

JW: Yes, there really is a list. Dumbledore, as manipulative as he is, wouldn't lie tell her she was on a list, when he could simply have just told her to do as Severus wanted. Well, not MY Dumbledore anyway.

PLEASE REVIEW "#4 ~ The 'Up Against the Wall' Wars" >>>NEXT CHAPTER