The Burning Pen

A Looping of the Scales by Ruth Solomon

The story content is adult in nature and can contain graphic sex and violence.  Those under the age of 18 are asked to leave this site immediately.  You are not welcome here.  The author is not responsible for those under-aged who view these works.

CHAPTER 66

All recognizable characters belong to JKR. No $$$ is being made from this fanfic.
**************************************

Chapter 66 ~ Harry Lays it Down

Hermione decided to throw herself into her work, and spent the next four days studying and working relentlessly, not allowing herself to think of anything else. She didn’t go back to the infirmary for the rest of the week, forcing Snape out of her mind.

She returned to Snape’s quarters as usual, and got a lot accomplished during the week. On Thursday evening, however, someone knocked on the Potions office door. Hermione put down her quill with a look of exasperation on her face and entered the Potions office.

”Severus isn’t here. He’s in the infirmary,” she called.

”I know he’s in the infirmary,” Harry replied from the other side of the door. “I’m here to see you, Hermione.”

”I’m working, Harry.”

”Hermione, you open this gods damned door right now! I want to talk to you!” Harry demanded, his glasses glinting in the torchlight as he frowned at the door.

Hermione opened the door, looking out at a scowling Harry.

”You didn’t have to curse,” she said to him, opening the door wider. Harry stalked in and spun on her.

”You’re really a piece of work, Hermione, do you know that?” he hissed at her furiously.

Hermione closed the door, taken aback by how angry Harry was.

”What are you talking about?”

”Severus, that’s what I’m talking about. He nearly got killed for you and you don’t even go to see him. What kind of friend are you? Is it just really about his books for you? Don’t you even care he’s hurt?”

Hermione walked back through the door to Snape’s private quarters, followed by Harry who frowned at all the parchments and books spread about.

”Of course I care, Harry, but he’s going to be fine and I still have to work hard,” she said, sitting down at the desk.

Harry blinked at her.

”Whenever I was hurt, you practically lived in the infirmary,” he told her as she picked up a quill.

”This is different,” Hermione said, looking at a book.

Harry’s face grew darker and darker as Hermione appeared to ignore him, jotting down some notes. Suddenly, he snatched the quill out of her hand, droplets of ink falling on her parchments.

”What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Hermione shouted at him. “My work is ruined! I’m going to have to rewrite all of this!”

”I don’t care, Hermione! You’re a selfish bitch sometimes, you know that?”

Hermione stared at him, then suddenly jumped up, whipped out her wand, and pointed it between Harry’s eyes.

”Don’t you call me a bitch, Harry! I didn’t do anything to you! I haven’t done anything to anyone. All I want to do is get through all this work! Why can’t anyone understand that! Why is everyone pressuring me?”

Harry stared at the wand, his mouth in a tight line.

”You want to hex me, Hermione? Go ahead. It wouldn’t surprise me if you did do it, the way you’re acting. You don’t care who you hurt, do you? Go ahead. Blast me!” he snarled at her, his eyes narrowed behind his glasses.

Hermione frowned at him, then her eyes became wet and she lowered the wand.

”I’m sorry, Harry. I—I just—I don’t know what’s going on with me,” she said tremulously.

”I do. You care about the NEWTs more than anyone. Even Severus. I know that you and him are involved, Hermione. Is this how you treat someone who loves you?”

Hermione’s eyes rounded.

”What?” she cried.

”Snape told me. Everything.”

”He did what?”

Harry gave her a withering look.

”Snape’s a person like anyone else, Hermione. He needed to talk to someone, so he talked to me, because he knows I care about you like a sister. He didn’t tell anyone else, but I know what’s going on between the two of you, and how he feels about you.”

”Oh, no,” Hermione said, sinking back into her chair and letting her face drop into her hand. “Why would he tell you?”

”Maybe because he loved my mother once. And you know what he said, Hermione? He said he never felt about my mother the way he feels about you. That it’s something deep inside him, something real, not wishful. If he loved my mother based on a wish, how much more does he love you? Why are you treating him like this? Ignoring him? You obviously made the decision to get involved with him!”

Hermione looked up at him.

”It’s complicated, Harry,” she said softly.

”Of course it is! How could you ever think it wouldn’t be complicated, Hermione? You’re shagging him!”

Hermione turned red.

”But, Harry, we aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend. We’re just lovers, shag buddies. That’s all it was ever supposed to be,” Hermione told him.

Harry stared at her in silence for a full minute.

”I can’t believe you’re so stupid, Hermione. We all know what Snape is like based on his past. How devoted he was to my mum. It’s his nature to be that way, and you knew that. Deep down inside, Hermione, you had to know he would latch on to you. Don’t act like you didn’t know. You’ve taken up with someone even needier that Ron in a way. He feels things a lot deeper. He’d do anything for you, and you just turned away from him!”

”I didn’t. He’s going to be out soon. I’ll see him then,” Hermione said.

”Tomorrow. He’s going to be released tomorrow evening,” Harry said. “And you need to be honest with him, Hermione. Do you love him? If you don’t, you need to break this thing off. Snape’s been hurt a lot in his life and he has a chance for a new start. Don’t be my mum, Hermione. If you don’t want him, then tell him. He needs more than someone who’ll shag him every now and then.”

Hermione frowned at Harry.

”This isn’t any of your business, Harry,” she told him.

”Snape’s my friend, Hermione and so are you, so it is my business. He hasn’t been one as long as you have, but he was nearly killed for me and unlike you, I feel I owe him some loyalty. So, it is my business. Now, do you love him? Or are you just using him?”

”I’m not using him,” Hermione said.

Harry looked around Snape’s quarters and at all the books she had spread out.

”Looks like you are to me. You’re having a right party with his books while he’s healing up. Just going through them like you own them while he’s in the infirmary. You make me sick, Hermione.”

I’m not using him!” Hermione said, louder.

”I don’t believe you. He loves you, Hermione and you’re just taking ad—“

”I LOVE HIM TOO, DAMN IT!” Hermione shrieked at Harry, banging her fists on the table and tears falling from her eyes. “I tried to keep it simple, to just let it be a physical relationship, but—but it isn’t. It isn’t, Harry.”

”So, tell him, you idiot. Just don’t bail on him. You’re a Gryffindor—where’s your courage?” Harry demanded, but his voice wasn’t as harsh now. Hermione was clearly running scared.

”It isn’t that easy, Harry. I’ve kept him at arm’s length all this time. What am I supposed to do, just—just change gears?”

”Yes,” Harry said softly. “That’s exactly what you should do, Hermione. Snape’s a good wizard and you two are good together. He doesn’t even mind that you work all the time. He just wants something more. He wants to be with you, be your boyfriend. What’s so hard about that, Hermione? Especially if you love him back. Just—just tell him you do and stop running away from it. There’s other things that matter more than marks, and he’s not trying to stop you from getting them. He just wants—you. He wants to know you’ll be here for him.”

Hermione sat there, wiping at her eyes with her robes sleeve.

”I’m—I’m scared of commitment, Harry. I don’t do it well. You saw what happened with Ron,” she sniffed.

”Severus isn’t Ron. He doesn’t want a bunch of kids and a wife to cook and clean for him. He has ambitions too, and wants to do great things, just like you do. Besides, he’s already committed to you, Hermione. I think you’re committed to him too. Just admit it and let yourself be happy. You’re never going to find happiness this way. There’s always going to be something more you want to achieve academically, but you can find happiness and love now. That will be an accomplishment that means something, Hermione. Something solid that—that’ll ground you. Snape understands you. He’d never hold you back, ever.”

Hermione blinked up at him.

”Why do you care so much, Harry?” she asked him softly.

Harry drew in a deep breath.

”Because, I love you too, Hermione,” he said quietly. “And I really want to see you happy. You would have never gotten involved with Snape if you didn’t feel something for him. You say you believed it was supposed to be casual sex for convenience but we both know better than that. There’s nothing casual about you. Everything you do, you throw yourself into five hundred percent. This is no different, Hermione. If you love him—tell him. Everything will be so much better.”

“But I’m afraid, Harry—“

”Suck it up, Hermione! Stop being a pussy—er—“

Hermione scowled at him.

”You know what I mean,” Harry said a bit sheepishly. That statement worked a lot better on wizards than witches, due to their opposing anatomy.

Hermione let out a choked laugh. She couldn’t help it. She drew in a deep, steadying breath and straightened in the chair.

”I am a Gryffindor, aren’t I?” she asked him.

Harry nodded.

”And Snape’s a Slytherin. You’re not going to let him make you run, are you, Hermione? You’re just as strong as he is. You just have to be just as honest. That’s all.”

Hermione blinked at Harry.

”You’re right, Harry,” she said, closing up all the books on the desk and putting the parchments together neatly. Then she stood up.

”I’ve got to face my fears,” she stated. “I’ve done it before, and under fire.”

”That’s right,” Harry said, egging her on.

”I’m going to march right up there and tell Severus how I really feel,” Hermione said.

”Good for you.”

Then Hermione sank back down in the chair.

”Tomorrow,” she said softly, then “Hey!” as Harry yanked her out of the chair.

****************************************

Poppy was standing in the infirmary when the door suddenly opened and Hermione stumbled in as if thrown. The mediwitch watched with raised eyebrows as Hermione turned and tried to force the door back open. It seemed as if it was stuck.

But it wasn’t. Harry was holding the other side.

“Have you come to see Severus, Miss Granger? You’ve been gone for quite a while,” the mediwitch called to her.

Snape sat up in the cot when he heard this. Hermione was here?

Hermione spun around guiltily.

”Ah, yes. Yes, I have,” she said softly, mentally cursing Harry. She would have hexed her way out but he’d taken her wand.

”I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you,” Poppy said with a smile. “Go right in.”

Snape ran his fingers through his hair quickly. He still had bandages wrapped around his middle but not heavy ones. They’d be removed permanently tomorrow morning. He sat up straight and waited for Hermione to enter. Presently the curtain was pulled back and she entered rather timidly. His black eyes rested on her soberly.

”Taking a break from your studies?” he asked her softly.

Hermione nodded silently.

”I imagine you’ve got a lot accomplished without me in the way,” he stated.

”I got a lot accomplished, but it wasn’t because of that,” she replied.

Snape just looked at her for a moment or two.

”Why did you come see me, Hermione? You haven’t been here almost the whole week.”

Hermione swallowed.

”I need to tell you something.”

”It couldn’t have waited until tomorrow? I get out tomorrow.”

“I was going to wait until tomorrow, but—“

Hermione wasn’t about to tell him Harry dragged her up here from the dungeons.

”I decided it would be better to tell you tonight.”

Snape studied her stonily, waiting for her to say what she had to say. Finally, he became exasperated as she stared back at him like a Bugbear caught in the torchlight.

”Well?” he asked her pointedly. “What is it?”

Hermione reddened.

”What is it?” Snape demanded, a cold feeling in his belly. Was she going to break it off with him? Had he pushed her too much? He steeled himself for her reply. He wouldn’t beg if she did, not like he did with Lily when she turned away from him. It didn’t make any difference then and probably wouldn’t now. He’d just—accept it. He was used to Gryffindor witches tossing him away like garbage. He frowned at Hermione reflexively, expecting the worse as she started to speak.

”Severus— I love you.“

******************************************
A/N: And THERE IT IS! Yay!!! Lol. Good old Harry and his righteous wrath and indignation. This was a fun chapter to write and a bit emotional too. Thanks for reading.

PLEASE REVIEW A Looping of the Scales"." >>> NEXT CHAPTER

Story Index