The Burning Pen

A Looping of the Scales by Ruth Solomon

The story content is adult in nature and can contain graphic sex and violence.  Those under the age of 18 are asked to leave this site immediately.  You are not welcome here.  The author is not responsible for those under-aged who view these works.

CHAPTER 25

All recognizable characters belong to JKR. No $$$ is being made from this fanfic.
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Chapter 25 ~ Hermione’s Reaction


Hermione knocked on the Potions office door, anxious to get in. She planned on asking Severus if he could wait an hour so she could finish up some work. If not, she’d work on it when she returned to Gryffindor tower. She knocked again, frowning. He was taking a long time to answer the door. Finally, the door open and Snape appeared in it, his eyes bloodshot.

”Come in, Hermione,” he said, turning and walking back through the open wall to his quarters.

Hermione immediately felt something was very wrong. He usually closed and warded the door behind her. She pulled out her wand and did it for him, then quickly walked in the room. At first, she didn’t see him. He was sitting in one of the armchairs, facing the fire, not moving.

”Severus? Is something wrong?” she asked him, placing her knapsack on the desk, then walking around the armchairs to look at him. He looked awful and didn’t answer her.

She slowly sat down in the other armchair.

”What’s happened?” she asked him, her eyes resting on his profile.

”I—I found something,” he said softly.

”What?”

He didn’t answer immediately, but eventually said, “A Pensieve.”

”A Pensieve? What kind of Pensieve? What was in it? Whose memories?”

”Mine.”

Hermione blinked at him, a bad feeling rising in her belly.

”What was in it, Severus?” she asked him.

”Me. Murdering people. Women. Raped women. I’m a killer,” he said softly.

”Raped women? Severus, did you witness a Revel?” she asked him.

Now Snape looked at her.

”You know about that? About Revels?” he asked her.

She nodded soberly.

”Periodically the Death Eaters would round up Muggle women and rape and kill them in a kind of twisted party atmosphere. Then they’d leave the mutilated, beaten bodies to be found. It was awful.”

”I attended them,” he said. “I killed the women afterwards. I told the Dark Lord it’s what I wanted to do. I asked his permission to do it. He was—pleased.”

Hermione took this in, swallowing.

”Did you help rape any of them?” she asked him, trembling a little.

He shook his head.

”I just stood there—and watched. I didn’t do anything to help them,” he murmured, his dark eyes haunted.

”You couldn’t have done anything. You would have been found out if you tried to help them, Severus. But—but I think you did help them as best you could, by removing their pain,” she said softly.

”What? What do you mean?”

”I think you asked to kill them to keep them from suffering a long, lingering, painful death,” she told him. “It was an act of mercy. The only mercy you could show them. Ending their torment. Just as you did for Dumbledore.”

Snape swallowed.

”How could I have ever wanted to join him? Why didn’t I see what he was?” he said in a whisper.

”He—he was there when you needed him, Severus. He misled you. He misled a lot of people. You were young, impressionable. You had no idea what his real agenda was—and you redeemed yourself. You truly did.”

Snape looked at her.

”There are more. More Pensieves. More memories. I kept a record of everything important. Voldemort’s orders. Dumbledore’s orders. Death Eater Meetings. Vows. All types of information, Hermione.”

Hermione was stunned at this revelation.

”Where? Where are they, Severus? Show me. Please,” she said to him.

Snape rose as if he weighed a ton and walked to the bookshelf and pushed in the thin black book. Hermione started as the entire shelf shook, then slid back with a grating noise, then to the side. She stood up and looked in as the torches flared up. She saw all the Pensieves.

”Oh my gods,” she breathed. “There’s so many.”

”All catalogued according to date, Hermione. Everything I want to know about my past as a spy is here,” Severus said heavily.

Hermione eyed the Pensieves as if they were pure evil.

”Destroy them, Severus,” she said softly.

”What? Destroy them?”

Hermione spun.

”Yes! Destroy them. You don’t need to see them, you don’t need to relive what you went through, what you lived through. Don’t you see you are free now to have a good life? Destroy every single one of them if you ever want to be happy!”

Snape’s dark eyes washed across all the veiled bowls.

“But, but I must have kept them for a reason,” he said doubtfully.

”The hell with the reasons! Voldemort’s dead! Everyone knows your story, how you served the Order. That’s all that matters! You don’t need this! Destroy them! Or you’ll be imprisoned by them, Severus!”

Snape looked at Hermione’s contorted face, torn. He could learn so much about himself through these Pensieves.

”Some of them are labeled ‘Torture.’ Did Voldemort torture people?”

”He tortured YOU! With Unforgivables and with whips and scourges. You were covered in scars as a professor. The marks of your ‘service.’ Do you really want to see yourself strung up by the wrists, your own blood pouring in down your body and pooling under your feet? No, you don’t. You don’t want to see that!”

Hermione whipped out her wand.

”If you won’t do it, I will! REDUCTO!” she cried furiously, destroying an entire shelf of Pensieves with powerful, vicious intent.

”REDUCTO! REDUCTO!” she cried over and over, shattering shelves and Pensieves, the silvery liquid pouring down over the splintered wood to the floor and evaporating as she turned the entire room into a shambles, Snape watching her with his mouth open. Tears streamed down her face as she demolished everything he used to be.

Finally, all that was left whole was the desk with the journal on it. Hermione turned to him.

”Destroy it,” she said softly. “Free yourself, Severus Snape. Wipe it all out.”

Snape looked at her, then stepped forward, pulling out his wand and pointing it at the book on the desk.

”Reducto!” he hissed, the book exploding into shreds which floated to the floor like strips of confetti.

”Now, close this room. Never open it again,” Hermione directed, her voice just above a whisper as she backed out of it, looking at Snape expectantly.

The wizard stepped back and pulled out the book. The wall closed. Hermione’s chest was still rising and falling with emotion as she looked up at him. He had a strange expression on his face.

“I’ve never had anyone so determined to protect me from myself—even—even Lily walked away from me the day I called her a Mudblood. I was—I was just angry at the world—at everyone. She left me to my fate—to James and the Marauders. She didn’t understand I didn’t mean it—“

He looked at Hermione.

”But you—why?” he asked her softly. “I was never good to you, Hermione. Never.”

”No, but you protected me, Severus. I’m—I’m just returning the favor. You were such an unhappy man. Now, you have the chance to relive your life. You don’t need those dark memories to blemish it again. Just consider it tit-for-tat.”

Snape stared at her, his dark eyes seeming to become even darker.

”You’re a very special witch, Hermione,” he breathed, starting to lean toward her.

”I’ve been told that,” she said, her heart starting to pound. She took off for the desk at a nice, brisk pace, Snape stopping his lean and looking after her, his eyes half-lidded.

”She’s like a rabbit,” he said under his breath as she sat down at the desk and busily took out the books she had in the little bookcase built along the top.

”I was going to ask you if you could wait an hour or so while I finish up a few things,” she said in a higher voice than usual.

”I’ll wait as long as you like, Hermione Granger,” he replied softly.

Hermione looked at him, flushing.

”Thank you,” she said, getting down to work.

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A/N: Ooh lala. Lol. “I’ll wait as long as you like, Hermione Granger.” Hm. Thanks for reading..

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