The Burning Pen

A Matter of Circumstance
by Ruth Solomon

The story content is adult in nature and can contain graphic sex and violence.  Those under the age of 18 are asked to leave this site immediately.  You are not welcome here.  The author is not responsible for those under-aged who view these works.

CHAPTER 36
 

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to JKR. All situations are mine. No $$$ is being made from this fanfic.
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Chapter 36 ~ The Miracle

Severus frantically held the towel against Hermione, his heart sinking as he looked at the witch. He never imagined this would happen. She was so healthy and doing so well. Poppy even said she would be fine. Oh gods, she couldn’t die.

In the crib, Cassia was silent as if the baby knew not to draw attention to herself now. As if she knew quiet was good now.

Severus had ceased shouting. It would do no good…there was no one on earth who could help him.

Good thing there was the heavens.

He pulled the towel away, afraid of the gush that would greet him…but…but the bleeding had stopped. Severus stared down at the miracle for only a moment, then fell forward, pressing his ear against Hermione’s chest.

Yes…there was a faint heartbeat.

The Potions Master ran into the bathroom, his bloody hands leaving prints on the vanity and mirror as he pulled open the medicinal potions cabinet. He took out several bottles of blood replenisher and returned to Hermione, leaving the cabinet open. He quickly uncorked the bottles, setting them on the night stand, then carefully lifted Hermione’s upper half and slipped into the bed, resting her against him and pulling her mouth open.

The witch’s head flopped lifelessly, but the wizard was determined. He poured a bit of potion into her mouth, then stroked her throat.

”Swallow, Hermione…come on witch,” he hissed.

He felt her throat muscles work reflexively. The potion went down.

”Yes…yes good,” he said, feeding her a bit more.

Hermione felt cold in his arms. She was probably in shock from the blood loss. He gathered the bloody covers around her and continued to administer the blood replenisher, calming a bit as her paleness lifted.

There was the crack of apparition and Poppy hurried into the room, her eyes wide as she saw the blood covered sheets and wizard. Severus had inadvertently wiped his face with his hand, and Hermione’s blood was smeared on his face. He looked as if he had murdered someone.

“Oh my gods, Severus…what happened?” the medi-witch cried, pulling out her wand and waving it over Hermione.

Severus was once again his disciplined controlled self. To look at him, no one would know how he had lost it.

”She hemorrhaged after giving birth,” he said, still administering potion to the witch, “I managed to stop the flow and am giving her blood replenisher.”

Poppy frowned. Stopped the flow? Usually a post-partum hemorrhage could only be stopped if a quick hysterectomy was performed. Yet, she didn’t question it. Miracles happened every day. Whatever happened, it was a good thing. Poppy frowned slightly as the wand tip glowed dimly.

”She isn’t in good shape, Severus. She’s in shock. We have to get her back to Hogwarts,” the medi-witch said, “She’s lost so much blood, I’m not sure the replenishing potion will be enough.”

”It will be enough, Poppy. Hermione is a fighter,” the wizard said, sounding brave although inside he feared the medi-witch was right.

Eli climbed into the crib and picked up Cassia, who began to squall. Poppy looked over at the elf and retrieved a tiny bottle of formula from her bag. New mothers didn’t always have milk ready for their infants. Hermione hadn’t started lactating yet, so the medi-witch brought several backup bottles. She removed the stasis spell and walked over to the crib.

“Feed her, Eli,” the medi-witch said to the elf as Severus gave Hermione the last of the potion. Her color was better, but the witch didn’t stir.

Eli took the bottle and after a couple of frustrated false starts, the baby began to feed.

Poppy looked at Severus who was holding Hermione and staring into her face, his dark eyes sober.

”We’ve got to get her to Hogwarts. We can help her better there,” Poppy said to the wizard again.

”Yes,” Severus said as if starting from a dream, then picking Hermione up gently, still wrapped in the bloody blankets, “I will take her directly to the infirmary. Eli, bring my daughter after she is fed.”

With that, Severus disapparated.

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Yvette, Poppy’s assistant, let out a little scream as thunder cracked and a blood-covered, pale wizard carrying what seemed to be a women’s bloody corpse suddenly appeared in the middle of the infirmary.

”Stop screaming and help me,” Severus snapped at her as he strode to the back of the ward, slipped through a heavy black privacy curtain and placed Hermione in a cot. He immediately removed the bloody blankets and nightgown as Yvette stood by wide-eyed.

”What happened to her?” the assistant asked him as he pulled out his wand and scourgified the blood off the naked witch.

“Bring me a gown and blankets,” Severus ordered Yvette, not answering her question.

The assistant disappeared and reappeared quickly handing Severus first a heavy cotton nightgown, watching as he dressed Hermione. Then she handed him the blankets and the wizard tucked them around the unconscious witch. He then turned to the assistant.

”Check her vitals,” he said.

Yvette drew out her wand and ran it over Hermione. Her vitality was very weak.

“Bring me blood replenishing potion,” Severus said to her.

Yvette stalled.

”I’m acting medi-witch here,” she said in an attempt to reclaim the infirmary. She didn’t know who the hell this wizard thought he was.

”BRING ME THE GODS DAMNED POTION!” Severus roared at her, Yvette stumbling back and almost falling because of his vehemence.

“All right,” she stammered and left to get the potions.

Severus brushed back Hermione’s hair.

”You have to wake up, Hermione. Wake up and see your daughter,” he said to her softly, “Wake up and see…me. Don’t leave us, witch.”

The wizard swallowed as she remained unresponsive.

”Come back to me, Hermione. I’ll do right by you…I swear I will,” he said hoarsely, “You will not live out your life in shame. My daughter will not be considered a bastard. Both of you shall have my name and my protection. Just survive, witch. That’s all you have to do.”

Magic swirled around the wizard as the Oath took.

Yvette appeared with several bottles of potion, which the wizard took from her.

”Now I need a crib,” the wizard said, busily removing the corks from the bottles and setting them on the small cabinet next to the bed and carefully lifting Hermione so he could once again feed her the replenisher.

”A crib? Why?” Yvette asked.

Severus scowled, though he didn’t take his eyes off of Hermione.

”For our child. Poppy is bringing her here,” he said evenly.

”I don’t know if we have a crib,” Yvette replied.

”Look, damn it!” Severus snapped at her.

Why did Poppy have such an idiot for an assistant?

Yvette left to see if she could locate a crib.

What a snarky bastard.

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Poppy soon arrived with Eli and Cassia. Yvette had located a crib and Eli got the baby situated as Poppy treated Hermione. The medi-witch put on a pair of glasses specifically made for healers. They could see through flesh.

She pulled Hermione’s gown up and eyed her uterus. There were torn pieces of the placenta inside the witch as well as several large clots of blood. Using her wand carefully, Poppy removed the pieces one by one, then sterilized the unconscious witch’s womb and cast a weak healing spell on the area.

Still coated in Hermione’s blood, Severus sat by, quietly watching Poppy work on the witch. Poppy pulled her gown back down and tucked the covers back around Hermione securely.

“Now we have to wait, Severus,” the medi-witch said to him softly, looking at the crusted blood on the wizard’s face, hands and robes, “Perhaps it would be best for you to go to your rooms and clean up. We will take care of Hermione and the baby while you’re gone.

“No,” Severus said firmly, his eyes on Hermione, “I want to be here when she wakes.”

”But Severus…you’re covered in blood,” Poppy said to him.

The Potions Master pulled out his wand and wordlessly scourgified himself. There were still a few brownish stains on his pale skin where the blood had colored his flesh.

Poppy shook her head.

”I’ll have some food sent up for you,” she said to the wizard.

”I’m not hungry,” Severus replied, his black eyes still locked to the shallowly breathing witch, “Just leave me bottles and nappies for Cassia.”

Poppy looked at the wizard, then shook her head slightly.

”What about your classes, Severus,” she asked him softly.

”Classes?” the wizard said hollowly, “Yes. They will be postponed until further notice.”

If Albus didn’t like it, he could find a substitute. Anyone but Professor Binns. He left ectoplasm all over the classroom and it was hell to get off of his swivel chair.

Poppy looked at Severus. This was so unlike him to cancel classes. He had never done it, even when wracked with pain from the Cruciatus curse or suffering from Voldemort’s tortures. He’d have her patch him up and conduct his class from behind his desk, glamouring himself from time to time when the shudders hit him so the students wouldn’t know how he suffered.

She looked at Hermione, who lay unmoving and back at the wizard.

It seemed the witch was more important to the Potions Master than he was letting on. But his actions were speaking louder than his words.

”I’ll bring you a blanket,” she said, exiting the room.

Eli sat at the far end of Cassia’s crib, his green eyes focused on the master. He was grieving and afraid he would lose the Miss. Eli prayed he didn’t. The elf could feel the despair inside Severus, trying to rise to the top. If it did, he would become darker than he was now.

Cassia, who had been sleeping, mewled and began to stir. Eli went to pick the baby up.

”No, Eli. I will see to my daughter,” Severus said, rising and walking over to the crib.

Poppy appeared, carrying formula, nappies and a blanket for Severus. She saw the wizard bent over the crib. He peeled the covers back and checked the baby. She was wet.

He turned to Poppy and held out his hand.

“The baby is wet,” he said shortly.

She handed him a nappie.

”I need soap and water,” the wizard said. He could have scourgified the baby, but felt it best to wash her clean. Cassia was so young to have magic used on her.

”I gets it, master,” Eli said, winking out.

He was back in a moment with a little basin of warm water, a bar of pure soap, a soft cloth and towel. He handed them to Severus, who set the items down in the crib. Then he carefully removed the tiny shirt and nappie from his daughter

Eli and Poppy watched as the Potions Master carefully bathed his daughter, starting with her face, using no soap. He washed her neck tenderly, being sure to get inside the little folds, then he put a little soap on the cloth, bathing her arms, legs, feet and back before tending to her bottom. He carefully patted her dry, pinned on the nappie and put a clean shirt on the child.

Cassia was very good about being bathed by her father, only squalling a little bit. Severus then wrapped her in a blanket and picked up a bottle of formula as Eli took away the bathing items. The wizard sat down in the chair again, close to Hermione and began to feed his daughter, his eyes soft as he looked down at her.

Poppy blinked back tears at the wizard’s silent care giving to his child. Who would have thought Severus Snape would willingly care for a child and do it so well?

Eli returned and stood at his master’s side, proud that he was such a good father.

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In the darkened infirmary, Severus sat beside Hermione, holding her cool hand, not taking his eyes from her. She still hadn’t stirred and he knew this wasn’t good.

”Come around,” he breathed, willing those bright amber eyes to open and see him, “We need you. I...need you.”

Severus realized the importance of admitting this as he looked down at the witch. He had never needed anyone his entire life. But Hermione had worked her way under his skin and into his heart. She had never demanded anything of him, not even his love. She only gave and gave, accepting him as he was, loving him despite everything he had done to her.

The wizard couldn’t help but think he was the cause of what happened this afternoon…that Hermione’s hemorrhage was the result of internalizing her stress, her pain until it burst from her at her weakest moment. If she died…it would be his fault.

He should have married her immediately, instead of balking…not wanting to be trapped. The witch wasn’t trapping him, she was freeing him…freeing him to live a life he believed only others could enjoy, not a man as immersed in darkness as he was. He looked toward the crib where Cassia was sleeping peacefully, Eli curled at the bottom of the crib, also asleep.

He had it all now, if he would just take it…if Hermione would just survive and give him another chance. She had to wake up…she had to wake up so he could make his confession…

So he could tell her he loved her.

Love. What a frightening word…one that until now was not part of his working vocabulary. Severus’ mouth worked as he attempted to say, “I love you, Hermione” out loud.

He was unsuccessful. Well, he’d have to work on it. Maybe he could write it down on a piece of parchment and hand it to Hermione with a ring.

”Here,” he’d say.

The Potions Master shook his head. Witches wanted to hear those words…not read them. His belly tightened at the thought of saying those words to the witch. They were so…emasculating. He had scorned others for the use of those words for ages…now it was his turn. He had said he would never fall in love.

Well it seemed time and Hermione Granger had made him into a liar.

If only she would wake tonight, now…he might not be able to say the words, but he could hold her and kiss her and tell her how relieved he was she’d awakened. He could do that. Maybe she’d know he loved her and he wouldn’t have to say it. Ever.

Severus snorted.

Even if he hadn’t been in love before, Severus knew Hermione wouldn’t go for that…particularly since the last time he fucked her he said, “Give me the words, Hermione” when he wanted to hear her say “I love you.”

The witch was definitely going to turn that around on him.

If she woke up.

She had to wake up.

Fear was an unfamiliar emotion to the wizard. Apprehension was something he was more familiar with. But he was afraid deep down inside, no matter how cool his outward demeanor was. He knew it because of the way he fell apart at their home. He was glad no one was there to witness his panic or the tears he cried.

But he recovered well, didn’t he? He wasn’t any less a man because he cried over the possibility of losing Hermione. He was insane with worry. That’s it. He had gone temporarily insane and lost his mind. Imagine him calling on the gods. Ridiculous. Gods didn’t exist.

But in times of trouble, men would turn to whatever faint hope existed in an attempt to thwart fate. Severus was no different and now he knew it.

But she had survived. The bleeding stopped and she was still breathing.

Merlin, she had to continue to breathe. He didn’t know what he’d do if Hermione died. It was as if the entire world hinged on her next breath and the one that followed. All his life he had lived in darkness. Hermione had given him a glimpse of light…now he was ready to step out into the sun…but it had to be with her. Hermione was the way out.

Severus didn’t realize before now he’d had light in his life. Now, with Hermione near death, there was only love in the dark.

If she left him, that darkness would close over his heart for good.

There was Cassia. He would care for her but she would always be a reminder of the love he lost. The love freely offered him that he didn’t have the sense to gather into his heart.

“Wake up, witch,” the Potions Master breathed at Hermione, his hand tightening around hers.

”You must wake up.”

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A/N: Thanks for reading.

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