The Burning Pen

A New Beginning
by Ruth Solomon

The story content is adult in nature and can contain graphic sex and violence.  Those under the age of 18 are asked to leave this site immediately.  You are not welcome here.  The author is not responsible for those under-aged who view these works.

CHAPTER 17

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to JKR. All situations are mine. No $$$ is being made from this fanfic.
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Chapter 17 ~ Closure

Bartleby was sitting at his desk, reading over some paperwork for another client when there was a knock on his office door. The solicitor looked up.

”Come in,” he called.

The door opened and Harry entered. He had a small box and a letter in his hands. Bartleby recognized the wizard immediately and stood up, smiling and offering his hand.

“Harry Potter. What a pleasure!” he exclaimed as Harry shook his hand, “I’m John Bartleby. Don’t tell me you are looking for a solicitor?”

”Ah no. Actually I have something I’d like delivered to Hermione Granger,” he said, passing Bartleby the package and the letter.

“Ah I see,” Bartleby said, pulling out his wand and checking the package for any possible danger. There was no reaction.

”I’ll send it out immediately,” the solicitor said.

”Thank you,” Harry said shortly, “It was a pleasure meeting you.”

”Likewise, Mr. Potter,” Bartleby replied, smiling as the wizard left.

He looked at the package curiously, then summoned Eli.

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“I wonder what this is?” Hermione said, shaking the box and hearing it rattle.

She was curious as hell. Harry had sent her a letter. Inside it was another letter addressed to Snape, stamped with wax and Harry’s seal. It was magicked so if it were cracked, it could not be repaired. Drat.

The letter instructed Hermione to give the box and the letter to Snape WITHOUT opening them, the word “without” capitalized.

Harry knew Hermione well.

The witch stared at the box, sorely tempted to open it, but instead called Eli, who winked in immediately. She hadn’t yet told Snape about Harry’s oath because she hadn’t seen him since they had tea and cakes. Apparently he was quite busy.

”Yes Miss?” Eli said to her.

Hermione quickly handed Eli the letter and package as if they were burning her hands.

”Deliver that to Professor Snape. It’s for him,” she said.

”Yes Miss,” Eli said, winking out.

Snape was down in his labs brewing, so Eli left the package and letter on the table in front of the fireplace. The wizard didn’t come up until late in the evening. He noticed the letter and package immediately.

”What’s this?” he said to himself, sitting down in the armchair and picking up the letter. He opened it and read it.

“Oh good gods. She’s told him and it’s started,” the wizard groaned, wiping his face with his hand in irritation. Well, he had said he didn’t want to see Harry. He didn’t say the wizard couldn’t write. At least the letter wasn’t long.

Professor,

Hermione told me you did not want to see me and I will respect that. But I have sent you something I think you will find interesting. Turn it over once in your hand.

Harry

Snape scowled, then picked up the small package and turned it over in his hand, then shook it. Something rattled inside.

He pulled off the wrapper and opened it. On a piece of white cotton sat a small, cracked black stone. There was a triangle and a circle on it. It looked vaguely familiar. He plucked it out of the box and studied it.
 

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”All right, Mr. Potter. Let’s see what insanity you’ve visited upon me,” he said, placing the stone in his palm and turning it over once.

Suddenly the flames in the fireplace lowered significantly, the wizard starting in surprise. A wisp of smoke appeared in front of him, slowly writhing and forming a shape. A shape of a woman. A very familiar young woman, no more than twenty-one years of age, with dark red hair and unforgettable green eyes.

“Lily,” Severus breathed as the woman he loved stood before him, smiling softly and looking real enough to touch. But she couldn’t be touched.

”Severus,” she said softly.

The wizard stared at her in shocked disbelief, his heart pounding. Lily spoke.

“Severus. Oh, Severus. I’ve felt you for all these years, all this time. Your love . . . your pain . . . your guilt.”

The Potions master stared at the specter before him, so close, so real he couldn’t speak. He never could speak properly when in her presence . . . not really, not when he was feeling strong emotion. That hadn’t changed.

”Severus, we weren’t meant to be, not the way you longed for, the way you longed for but never said,” Lily said softly, her green eyes resting on the wizard kindly, “There really are such things as Fate and Destiny, and our fate and destiny fell just the way it was meant to.”

Snape let out a sound as he stared at Lily. His beautiful Lily. He found his voice. It was hoarse, broken, but he found it and his courage. Finally, finally he could tell her what had been in his heart for all those many years.

“I loved you, Lily. I loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you in the park, when I was just a troubled, badly dressed young scamp from the wrong side of town. You were so full of life, of light . . . of joy at being who and what you were,” he said, his voice breaking, “You didn’t judge me. You made me forget my own pain, my own troubles, Lily.”

Lily smiled at the wizard sadly.

“But there was more than your own pain, Severus. You were born for a purpose. There was darkness looming, a darkness that had to be met and overcome. You played a part in its destruction, Severus. Your place in the game was set long before we ever knew,” the witch said softly.

“I was part of it. I made it possible,” Snape said, his voice full of self-loathing.

Lily shook her head.

”No, Severus. You had to go into the darkness, you had to be who you were to make it possible for the darkness to end. You were the one who brought the light . . . who brought the change. Only you could do it,” she said, her green eyes resting on him.

“You died because of me. Because of what I revealed,” the wizard said despairingly.

”No. No, that isn’t true, Severus. When you revealed the Prophecy to the Dark Lord, you had no idea I had Harry on the thirty-first. You didn’t know where we were. You were just passing information . . . that’s all you did. It was Peter who gave us up, who gave us over. Peter who informed Voldemort when our child was born and where we were. Voldemort could have gone for the Longbottoms first, in that case, Neville would have become the Boy Who Lived. It just so happened he came to us first since Peter was our Secret Keeper. It isn’t your fault, Severus. It never was. You have held on to a guilt that was never yours,” the ghost said softly.

Snape stared at her.

“I wanted you, Lily. I wanted you more than I wanted anything. Everything,” he breathed, “I became a Death Eater, not because I wanted that power, but because I would be able to protect you when the Dark Lord took over. You would have been spared if I served him. That was why I joined them, Lily. I wanted you to live. I would have been able to influence him.”

Again, the ghost shook her head.

”That is what you believed, Severus,” the ghost insisted.

“No, that is what it was. Instead, I caused your death,” the wizard said, his voice quavering.

“You’ve never listened, Severus. Never!” Lily snapped at him, “I’ve already told you Fate had a hand in this. I was always meant for James, always meant to bring Harry into the world and sacrifice myself for him. He was always meant to face the Dark Lord. My Patronus was a doe for a reason, Severus, long before I knew James was a stag.”

Severus swallowed as the truth of her statement sunk in. His own doe Patronus was a result of his love for Lily, reflecting her own connection to James Potter. His nemesis. His enemy.

Lily continued.

”I was always meant to die, Severus. Only by my dying could you see Voldemort for who and what he was . . . only then did you work toward his destruction. When he didn’t spare me, he sealed his own end. Don’t you see, Severus? Don’t you see you’ve always had a destiny as great as Harry’s? Lives were lost, but so many more could have been taken if not for you. You truly are a hero, Severus. You were born one.”

The Potions master wiped his eyes, unable to speak. Lily smiled at him.

”Severus,” the ghost said, “If there were anything I could ask of you to do for me . . . it would be this ….”

Snape looked at her, hunger in his eyes. He’d do anything for her still. Anything.

”What Lily? I would do anything for you. Anything,” Severus said, his heart pounding.

”Then don’t let your life pass you by. Don’t weep for the memories,” she said softly, “It is as it was supposed to be. You did all you could do and are blameless. Blameless, Severus. Let it go. Let me go. Now is your time to live. Now is your time to be free. If you ever loved me, you’ll do this. You’ll live and find your happiness. You’ll live and find your own true love.”

“Lily,” Severus said as she began to fade.

“Lily, did you ever love me?” the wizard asked her, his eyes glistening.

”Of course I did,” she answered, “Just not the way you wanted, Severus, but I always loved you. I just didn’t understand your path then. I didn’t understand why you were so immersed in darkness, but it all became clear in the end. You were my best friend. My first wizarding friend. Your place in my heart will remain forever. Forever, Severus.”

He stared at her, his heart releasing, his soul satisfied at last. It wasn’t the love he craved, but . . . it was love. As pure a love as could ever be. Lily thinned, only the barest flicker remaining.

”Turn the stone four more times, Severus,” Lily said, her voice fading, “Four more times, my heart, my friend. I am with you from everlasting to everlasting.”

Then she was gone.

Snape looked down at the stone in his palm, then at the empty space Lily had occupied. He hesitated, then turned the stone as she asked.

Four wisps of smoke formed before him, coalescing into recognizable forms. James, Remus, Sirius and Peter, all staring at him.

“Shit,” the Potions master snarled as he took them in.

”Not pleased to see you either, Snivelus,” Sirius barked at him before James elbowed him in the ribs. Remus simply gazed at the Potions master, while Peter looked sorely distressed.

He had reason to be. The moment Sirius realized the fat little wizard was present, he launched himself at him, grabbing him by the throat.

“You fat little lying toady!” Sirius snarled, choking his fellow ghost, “I’ve waited ages to get my hands on you! You framed me!”

Snape watched as James and Lupin jumped on the pair, trying to wrench them apart, Sirius choking Peter so his tongue lolled out. Apparently, ghosts could get their asses kicked by other ghosts. Snape shook his head as he watched them.

”I see not much has changed with you four. You’re still idiots,” the Potions master said as they broke apart, James and Lupin between Sirius and the gasping Peter.

James looked at the wizard, remorse in his face.

“We . . . we never knew, Severus,” the ghost said, “I hated you because Lily cared about you so much and I wanted her. You were in the way.”

”I hated you just because I did,” Sirius said, again getting elbowed, this time by James and Lupin.

”I never hated you, Severus. I just wasn’t courageous enough to stand up for you when you were targeted. I didn’t want to lose the only friends I had. I didn’t know what real friendship was then,” Lupin said, his eyes sad.

”Why are you here?” Snape said, unmoved. He still hated them.

”Because . . . because in the end, Severus Snape . . . you were the better man,” James said, “I needed to tell you that. We needed to tell you that.”

Even Sirius dropped his head.

“As much as I hate to admit it . . . it’s true, Snivelus. A better man than all of us, you greasy git,” he said to the floor.

“I always knew that,” the Potions master said coldly, “All of you were swine.”

Not one ghost argued with him. Peter stepped forward.

“I’m sorry about Lily,” the fat wizard said, “I didn’t mean to get her killed. I was just afraid. Voldemort was so powerful . . .”

”You could have died, Peter. Died rather than gave James and Lily up!” Sirius snarled at him.

“No. It happened as it was meant to happen, to get Snape on his path,” James said, “We were all the pawns of destiny from the moment of our births. It happened the way it happened for a reason. I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry, Severus.”

The Potions master looked at James with hatred.

“You never deserved her,” the wizard said in a low voice.

”I know that,” James said, “I never loved Lily the way you did. But we were meant for each other. It was part of a greater plan. As I said, I’m sorry.”

“And I heard you,” the wizard snapped, “It means nothing to me. Nothing.”

But it did.

“Well, I’m not sorry. It was fun giving you what for,” Sirius said, “But I have to admit you came through in the end. Why the powers that be would make a bastard like you a son of destiny I’ll never understand, but I have to take my hat off to you.”

Snape sneered at the ghost.

“I’d much prefer it was your head,” he replied, “The remorse of a dead man means nothing to me. You were an ass in life and are still an ass, Sirius Black.”

The ghost shrugged and stepped back as Remus stepped forward. Snape shook his head.

“Your cowardice is no excuse, Lupin. You will not be forgiven either,” the wizard said, “So don’t waste your words.”

Snape looked at Peter as Remus stepped back.

”I guess there is no hell or your fat ass would be on a spit someplace roasting,” he snapped at the rotund wizard.

”Oh, there’s a hell all right. In here,” Peter said, pointing to his chest.

“I hope it consumes you,” Snape replied, his eyes full of hate, “Now all of you, leave my presence and haunt me no more. I am and always have been the better man and if there is any satisfaction to be had, that is it. Begone!”

The four ghosts faded out, every face contrite except for Sirius’.

Harry’s godfather or not, he really was an ass.

Snape stared at the empty spot before the fireplace and sighed, looking down at the stone in his hand. It was a marvelous creation . . . one he would never use again. He’d return it to Harry. Lily could rest now.

And at last, so could he.

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A/N: This was such a satisfying chapter to write. Sirius. :::shakes head::: Some things not even death can change. Thanks for reading.

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